What brings you life? A seemingly simple question, but when contemplated upon subtle nuances and more questions arise. "Why did my relationship not emerge in my answering?" "Am I really happy in my career?" A regular practice can help us discover what frees and what fetters our spirit. Finding a regular practice can be challenging. If you are atheist or agnostic, you may not want a spiritual exercise but some other ritual that brings meaning and wisdom to your life. The examen is a simple process that can function to enhance your depth and discernment.
The essense of the examen is two questions. Both are equally important.
The essense of the examen is two questions. Both are equally important.
For what moment today am I most grateful?
For what moment today am I least grateful?
These questions can be asked many ways: "When did I give and receive the most love today?" "When did I give and receive the least love today?" "What was today's high point?" " What was today's low point?" or "What gave me life today?" "What drained me today?" If you are working on a particular issues, you can explore that with the examen. For example, "When today did I ask for what I needed?" "When today did I not ask for what I needed?" or "When did I listen to my inner voice today?" "When did I ignore my inner voice today?"
The first question brings us gratitude. It reminds us of what nourishes and fulfills us, what quenches our thirst. The second question acknowledges our difficulties and struggles. It allows us to be with difficult emotions without avoiding or disavowing them. It prevents spiritual bypassing. Acknowledging the sharp points, as Pema Chodron aptly calls them, is essential to wisdom. The key to the examen is answering without judgment. No answer is right or wrong. As Rilke says, no feeling is final.
Daily reflection is an important practice to help us grow and better know ourselves. Through this examination we learn what brings us life. You can make a ritual of the examen. Light a candle or make tea and sit quietly for a time before asking and reflecting upon your examen questions. You may choose to journal your answers, or to draw as part of your practice. Make it your own. It does not have to be a long drawn out process; often the examen can be done in ten to twenty minutes. It is also a exercise you can do with others, as a way to build connection and vulnerability with loved ones. Over time the examen can bring many gifts. Patterns emerge and we may see how we have changed over time and what nourishes us now. The examen is a simple and beautiful practice to add to your life.
The first question brings us gratitude. It reminds us of what nourishes and fulfills us, what quenches our thirst. The second question acknowledges our difficulties and struggles. It allows us to be with difficult emotions without avoiding or disavowing them. It prevents spiritual bypassing. Acknowledging the sharp points, as Pema Chodron aptly calls them, is essential to wisdom. The key to the examen is answering without judgment. No answer is right or wrong. As Rilke says, no feeling is final.
Daily reflection is an important practice to help us grow and better know ourselves. Through this examination we learn what brings us life. You can make a ritual of the examen. Light a candle or make tea and sit quietly for a time before asking and reflecting upon your examen questions. You may choose to journal your answers, or to draw as part of your practice. Make it your own. It does not have to be a long drawn out process; often the examen can be done in ten to twenty minutes. It is also a exercise you can do with others, as a way to build connection and vulnerability with loved ones. Over time the examen can bring many gifts. Patterns emerge and we may see how we have changed over time and what nourishes us now. The examen is a simple and beautiful practice to add to your life.
God speaks to each of us as he makes us,
then walks with us silently out of the night.
These are the words we dimly hear:
You, sent out beyond your recall,
go to the limits of your longing.
Embody me.
Flare up like a flame
and make big shadows I can move in.
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don't let yourself lose me.
Nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.
Give me your hand.
Ranier Maria Rilke, Book of Hours, I 59
then walks with us silently out of the night.
These are the words we dimly hear:
You, sent out beyond your recall,
go to the limits of your longing.
Embody me.
Flare up like a flame
and make big shadows I can move in.
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don't let yourself lose me.
Nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.
Give me your hand.
Ranier Maria Rilke, Book of Hours, I 59
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